Physical Punishment

Spanking...thats what we're talking about, ill just go ahead and put it right out there. 

     Before class this wednesday we were asked to read about punitive punishment. First of all  I looked up punitive in the online dictionary and it says "inflicting or aiming to inflict."  This sounds a lot more like "doing to" a child than "working with" them to solve a problem.  I thought about spanking before I went to class and even while I was in it, I was the only one in my group who thought under certain circumstances that it might be okay to give your child a little swat on the rear to get your point across...I listened to everyones comments and concerns and what touched me most and what changed my heart were the gospel perspectives on the matter. 

     I like what president Hinckley said about spanking your children "They get on your nerves now and again, I know. ...We understand because we have been through it. You will be far more successful with love as your watchword than you will be with a whip or lash or anything of the kind."  His empathy is great for parents going through hard times!  
If you as parents think of a time where you spanked your child or have thought of spanking your child...were you frustrated, upset, angry....in need of a serious back massage and a container of Ben and Jerry's?  The spirit will never work through anger....just like you should never spank your child out of anger or frustration.  Making your child do what you want them to do out of fear is so much less affective than getting them to do what is right out of love.  

     I'm not saying that you can never ever ever spank your child.  In class I heard a couple of good personal anecdotes about how this father had a son who was very hard to handle and did not listen to anything his parents told them and after various different techniques the father decided that he would spank his child once, and after he did his son never misbehaved in that manner again.  It was a "one and done" sort of situation. 
But these situations tend to be the exception rather than the rule.  My teacher guaranteed us that the spirit will not come to us and tell us that spanking is the first resort solution to disciplining our child.  Normally parents who spank don't do it only once...they use it because they think it will continue to work....it will lose its effect.  

     I liked that my teacher said "just because it happened to you, does not mean it is okay.  If it can't apply to doctrine and principals, maybe we need to take a step back and reevaluate."  ....I could never, in any circumstance, picture The Savior spanking a child. NEVERRRRR. That idea just does not fit in my mind.  If I have one of his little spirit children, I would want to treat them how he would.  That was what changed my mind in class. 

     For some of you, this spiritual application is not enough.  Thats okay...I have research :) This study is called "Report On Physical Punishment In The US: What Research Tells Us About Its Effects On Children" by: Elizabeth T. Gershoff Ph.D.

0. "There is little research evidence that physical punishment improves children's behavior in the long term. In contrast, there is substantial research evidence that physical punishment puts children at risk for negative outcomes, including increased aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems, and physical injury. The clear connections between physical abuse and physical punishment that have been made in empirical research and in the child abuse statutes of several states suggest that reduction in parents' use of physical punishment should be included as integral parts of state and federal child abuse prevention efforts. "
   
   
   
   This report synthesizes one hundred years of social science research and many hundreds of published studies on physical punishment conducted by professionals in the fields of psychology, medicine, education, social work, and sociology, among other fields. The research supports several conclusions:
   

   • ♦  There is little research evidence that physical punishment improves children's behavior in the long term.
     
   • ♦  There is substantial research evidence that physical punishment makes it more, not less, likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future.
     
   • ♦  There is clear research evidence that physical punishment puts children at risk for negative outcomes, including increased mental health problems.
     
   • ♦  There is consistent evidence that children who are physically punished are at greater risk of serious injury and physical abuse. 
     
     
          Research and Professionals are saying it is not okay.  For now, I am not a parent....I really don't see a problem with seeking some advice from a source that is scholarly and well informed.  If you would like to know more I have more articles that can support this idea. You don't have to change how you parent, and it doesn't make you a bad parent if you have spanked your child, my parents are fantastic and I think I might have been spanked once or twice......but just think about this new concept.